My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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