around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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