I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
BRING THE BAGELS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
