she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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