Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
