He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
