I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
