does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
