You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
