So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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