You're so nebulous sometimes
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
