Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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