And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
