Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
