Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
