my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
