We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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