you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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