You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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