Pappa wants mamma naked
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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