she looked like the before picture.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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