You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
