My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
