ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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