is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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