what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
