i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
