I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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