Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
