watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
