I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
