i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
