meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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