My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
