GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
