the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
