I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
