so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
then he tried to convert me to islam
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
