Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
