just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
