Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
