On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
