The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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