were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
