If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't put those talents on a resume
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
