Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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