You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
