i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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