i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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