I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
