i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
ttyl tear gas
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize