Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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