I wish I only lived at night.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You need Xanax blowdarts
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize