ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
