Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
