I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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