That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
