she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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