Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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