You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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