Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
no you cant smoke seaweed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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