I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
