I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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