you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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