addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
