I only kidnapped one of them. chill
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
