im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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