apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
